One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They waited anxiously at their desks for the test to begin. The professor handed out the question paper with the text facing down as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked his students to turn the page and begin. To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions, just a black dot in the centre of the page.
The professor seeing the expression on everyone’s face, told them the following, “I want you to write what you see there.” The confused students got started on the incomprehensible task. At the end of the class, the professor took all the answer papers and started reading each one of them aloud in front of all the students. All of them with no exceptions described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet etc.
After all had been read, the classroom was silent. The professor began to explain, “I am not going to grade on you this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot.
This is exactly what happens regarding your English. Your wide range of vocabulary allows you to make a clear difference between the word "exception" and "expectation", you are able to remember when to place the auxiliary ”do”, moreover you can insert ”therefore” and such words in your well-structured sentences. You understood 70% of the last WebEx and you could explain to your German colleague that you needed some modification on bunching production parameters. This list of achievements could be extended further; however you are mostly concentrating on your inner voice. What if a word does not come to my mind? What if I do not understand anything? What if I make a mistake? I will never be able to speak as cool as my boss.
This bad guy, your inner censor judges, criticises and compares you to others. By paying attention to its discouraging and demotivating whisper, you hold yourself back. You do a kind of self-sabotage from time to time. You are complaining but actually you are the one who stops yourself. Although self-critical thoughts are subconsciously programmed, mostly they are far from facts. The more you practise, the more you will be able to calm the voice inside.
Do you know what? You can create a silly, ridiculous or unpleasant character to imagine your inner voice. Hans Gruber from Die Hard, the step mother of Cinderella or Joker. Any kind of wicked guy to whom you can easily say: "Shut up, now I take control".
The black dot is there on your paper I know, but hey, you can change focus any time.